Alternative Bride No.1
NAME: PHOEBE TAN ROCHE
JOB: SUB EDITOR EXTRAORDINAIRE
DRESS: CECILIE BAHNSEN
SHOES: CECILIE BAHNSEN
10 QUESTIONS.
What was your first consideration when you thought about your wedding look?
My first thought was that I didn't want anything traditional — no sweeping train, no veil, no tiara, no heels. I wanted to feel like myself. I knew I'd be getting married in summer, so I was looking for a wedding dress I'd be able to wear again. I like the idea of wearing something so traditionally precious for casual occasions.
Did you have any frustrations when you first started dress shopping?
It was frustrating having so few options: I could either go to a bridal shop or be stuck with high street. There was no option for modern brides who wanted to look on trend (rather than traditional) and didn’t necessarily want the “typical” bridal experience. It feels like there is a real lack of middle ground — I wanted to have a no-pressure shopping experience but keep the quality.
Where did you find your dress?
Luckily, the e-commerce company I work for [MATCHESFASHION] launched a Wedding Edit shortly after I got engaged, so I just ordered a few options and tried them on at home with a friend. I already knew the styles I liked, it was just a matter of choosing “the one” but I think, deep down, I already knew which one I wanted.
Why online?
No warm champagne, no tears and, most important, no shop assistants.
Thoughts on bridal boutiques/dress shopping IRL?
I'm scarred from previous wedding-dress shopping experiences with friends who were getting married, so my priority was keeping it low-key and drama-free! For women, everything is built around the belief that there is only really one kind of wedding — a big, traditional one. I didn’t want a huge fuss or to spend months making appointments at bridal boutiques while shop assistants you've never met give their opinion on what they like – I find the whole concept baffling. As someone who isn't 'sample size' I was also anticipating issues with the trying on process. Usually, dresses are designed to fit a certain size, so I didn't have much faith that if I made an appointment it would be an enjoyable experience. I was determined not to get sucked into the "I must lose weight" mindset, which also made me rethink whether traditional wedding dress shopping was right for me. I think there's a real gap in the market for this – I spent quite a lot of time before my wedding trying to do some research and find brides like me, who wanted to do things a bit differently and I really couldn’t find very much out there. I would have loved a resource like The Alternative to help me out.
Do you have any bridal style icons?
I do, and they are total opposites. I love the carefree feeling of wedding looks from the 60s and 70s. Bianca Jagger's YSL skirt suit worn with nothing underneath is such a statement and Mia Farrow's buttoned-up two-piece suit is honestly perfect – simple, sweet, chic and so 'her'. That being said, my wedding dress was nothing like either of these. I can appreciate their beauty and also acknowledge that they wouldn't suit me.
One word to sum up your final wedding look:
Relaxed.
Did you make any last-minute outfit tweaks/changes?
I bought a pair of cream By Far slingbacks at a sample sale before I was even engaged, thinking that they would be my wedding shoes one day. At the last minute the designer of my wedding dress, Cecilie Bahnsen, launched a collection of flats that perfectly encompassed my style. I knew as soon as I saw them that they were for me — white quilted satin with buckles and a square toe. I think of them as bridal Pilgrim shoes!
Favourite bridal accessories?
I'm not really into typical bridal accessories — I can’t think of anything worse than a satin clutch, diamanté tiara or faux fur bolero. Instead, I went for modern versions of traditional accessories: a Furoshiki-style bag made from deadstock white silk and a Shrimps pearl barrette for my hair that was sweet without being twee. I knew I wanted to accessorise, so just tried to stay true to my personal style - for both longevity and to feel like myself on the day.
Was your dress your dream dress?
I won't lie, I did actually fall in love with a GILES silk-organza dress but it was so eye-wateringly expensive, even with my staff discount, that I didn't dare order it in case I tried it on, loved it and couldn't have it. I think I also knew that Cecilie Bahnsen was my spirit animal designer – I have wanted to own one of her dresses for years but could never justify the cost. I initially thought about dying it black to make it more “wearable” but I don’t think I could bring myself to do it now!
